The Fab 5 Running Commandments
By: Brock Jones
A few months ago I put together an article listing my Top 10 Rules of the Road. Well, wouldn’t you know it, running season is here and I’ve got some more knowledge to drop on you all. I have been on the receiving end of all of these scenarios. So, to make the world a better place, take note and try your best to abide.
Thou shall nod hello. It’s common courtesy. When somebody waves, you wave back. When somebody says hello, you respond. Don’t get so caught up in your 12-minute miles that you cannot simply say hello to a friendly walker or runner.
Thou shall be realistic. We all know that guy at the beginning of the race: The one who creeps up to the starting line to take off with the elite runners. The only problem is there is nothing elite about this guy except for his outfit. He’s got the shorty shorts, the calf tights, the arm bands, and the sunglasses, but he’s also got a very slow running speed. Don’t be that guy.
Thou shall commute respectively. There is nothing wrong with running or riding in to work or to the bus stop in the morning. In fact, I think more people should try doing this. Uncle Ben (Spiderman), however, reminded us all of a very important lesson: With great power, comes great responsibility. Nobody wants to be sprayed with your sweat when you get to the office. If we want to get wet, we’ll go run through the sprinklers. Worse, nobody wants to smell your post-run, not-so-beautiful body odor. Do us all a favor, plan ahead and have a change of clothes and, even better, TAKE A SHOWER!
Thou shall have some common sense. Running with the traffic, rather than against it? Running through the hand signal at a busy intersection? Yep. As a matter of fact, both of those ARE great ideas. Every driver out on the road is there simply to accommodate you, so there’s really no need to think logically while running. Go ahead and ignore the rules of the road, it’ll all work itself out.
Thou shall dress with dignity. Dudes - Do us all a favor and cover up the man mane. Nobody wants to see that sweater of chest and back hair. Throw on a tanky tee if you’re trying to get some sun, but cover of for cryin’ out loud. Ladies - PUH-LEEEEEAAAAASE, if you’re not getting paid to wear minimal clothing, then don’t wear minimal clothing. That’s all.
There you have it, folks. The running gods have spoken. So next time you're out in Lexington pounding the pavement, do your best to remember these five commandments.